I'm Sorry Miss Lawson
by Montrel Shepard
Summary: Side-Episode in the Mass Effect High School Series. After a accident in biotic class, Miranda reflects on her back story and befriends Jessica.


**Disclaimer:** I OWN NOTHING except my Mass Effect Trilogy.

* * *

Opening: Pain by Three Days Grace

Pain, without love

Pain, I can't get enough

Pain, I like it rough

'Cause I'd rather feel pain than nothing at all

You're sick of feeling numb

You're not the only one

I'll take you by the hand

And I'll show you a world that you can understand

This life is filled with hurt

When happiness doesn't work

Trust me and take my hand

When the lights go out you will understand

Pain, without love

Pain, I can't get enough

Pain, I like it rough

'Cause I'd rather feel pain than nothing at all

Pain, without love

Pain, I can't get enough

Pain, I like it rough

'Cause I'd rather feel pain than nothing at all

Anger and agony

Are better than misery

Trust me I've got a plan

When the lights go off you will understand

Pain, without love

Pain, I can't get enough

Pain, I like it rough

'Cause I'd rather feel pain than nothing at all

Pain, without love

Pain, I can't get enough

Pain, I like it rough

'Cause I'd rather feel pain than nothing

Rather feel pain

I know (I know I know I know I know)

That you're wounded

You know (You know you know you know you know)

That I'm here to save you

You know (You know you know you know you know)

I'm always here for you

I know (I know I know I know I know)

That you'll thank me later

Pain, without love

Pain, can't get enough

Pain, I like it rough

'Cause I'd rather feel pain than nothing at all

Pain, without love

Pain, I can't get enough

Pain, I like it rough

'Cause I'd rather feel pain than nothing at all

Pain, without love

Pain, I can't get enough

Pain, I like it rough

'Cause I'd rather feel pain than nothing at all

Rather feel pain than nothing at all

Rather feel pain

* * *

**I'm Sorry Miss Lawson**

Why did I do it? That question had been bouncing around Miranda's head for days. Was it pity? Sympathy? Empathy? Miranda hated Jack with a passion, and yet she had helped her in her time of need. At first Miranda thought it was because Shepard had helped, but no, it wasn't that. She just couldn't understand why she did it. Maybe it was empathy...

"Watch out Miranda!" Miranda was knocked out of her daydream quite literally when a dodge ball hurled at her by Grunt hit her straight in the face. Miranda was thrown backwards by the force behind the throw. Gym was a bit different today, as in; all the biotics were in the one class, supposedly to encourage the biotics in the human kids. Jack however was nowhere to be seen. The only one to have seen her was Aria, and she never told anybody any secrets, unless they deserved it of course. A whistle blew from somewhere across the room.

"Are you ok Miranda?" asked Miss Sanders.

"I'm fine miss." Miranda had always had a soft spot for Miss Sanders; she was the woman responsible for the biotic kids and their development. She'd found that light "combat" helped their advancement, so twice a week there would be dodge ball games for the biotics. However the Krogan, who was currently 'high fiving' John Shepard, always seemed to get far too aggressive, whereas some of the other biotics, Kaidan in question never put their full power behind the ball. Miranda gingerly got back on her feet, after taking Thane's offered hand.

"Ok I think that's enough dodge ball for now, so let's get out the weights and see how we're doing on our practise." Kahlee Sanders was an excellent teacher who had tailored the exercises to fit each student, paring one human with a non-human. Grunt and Shepard would be focusing on their charges, and throwing themselves at target dummies, Morinth and Jacob were practicing pulling weights biotically towards themselves, progressively adding more mass each time. Miranda today was working with Javik today, practising their slams. Miranda was unnerved by the prothean; it was his foreign perspective of life and its hierarchies which got her. However she wasn't the only one. Shepard, Grunt and Liara were the only ones who would gladly work with Javik. Grunt say his power and fortitude, Liara was besotted with the prothean, but Miranda knew not why Shepard was interested. Perhaps he just wanted to better himself by learning from the protheans?

"Miranda focus! How do you expect your biotics to amount to anything especially in their primitive form!" remarked Javik. Miranda hated being told what to do, everyone did what she said.

"Don't tell me to focus Javik! I can handle my biotics just as well as yours!" Spat Miranda, she was striding over to Javik when she was hit with a huge wave of force, sending her flying into the wall in close proximity. Everything went blurry, growing dark.

"No please, please don't take her! Please!"

That day, that one day Miranda wished she could forget, and yet here she was again. Her sister's hand being pulled from her grasp, as tears burst from those innocent blue eyes. Like the ocean itself was bursting through them. "You can't take her away from me! She's my sister, I'll look after her!"

"I'm sorry Miss Lawson, but under jurisdiction from the Mayor's office, Oriana has to come with us." The lack of emotion in the social workers voice was discomforting. Social workers were supposed to help kids, not steal them without any remorse.

"Miri! I want to stay with Miri, your hurting..." Miranda never knew how exactly that conversation ended, for she had clamped her hands over her ears to block out the injustice and pain screaming, forcing its way into her mind.

'How could he do this? He could he do this to me, to her?' Miranda lost track of the time, and therefore had no idea how long she had been huddled on the floor repeating those two questions in her head. When she finally stopped it was dark. The front door was still open; shards of glass littered the floor. That was from when C-Sec had arrested her father. He'd done something shady, really shady. Miranda was too concerned protecting her sister to hear what exactly her father was being arrested for, but she caught odd words. Torture. Disfigurement. Whatever he had done, Miranda knew that in heart she would never forgive him. Pulling herself up, Miranda took one look around the house, taking anything she truly loved with her, and ran. Ran as fast and for as long as she could, never wanting to look back. She was at her lowest, with no one wanting to help her.

"Woah, Miranda are you ok? Damn, did I knock her out?"

"I think you did Alenko. Nice one"

"That's not funny Shepard!" Miranda recognised that voice. That was Dr Chakwas, the school

doctor.

"Miranda, can you hear me?"

"Urgh, what..., what happened?"

"Alenko and Taylor were practising Barriers together with Liara and Morinth. Kaidan got a bit angry and unleashed way too much force, which coincidently hit you. " said Miss Sanders

"At least Alenko's actually using his biotics properly now. No more holding back eh?"

"I wasn't holding back! I just prefer to balance my biotics, use them only when I really need to, unlike you Grunt"

"That's enough boys! O.K. go and get changed, gym's over for today." Miss Sanders then walked over to Miranda, after putting herself, very bravely between Kaidan and Grunt. She knew Kaidan wouldn't necessarily lash out, not after Jump Zero, but Grunt however. "Let's get you to the infirmary; Dr Chakwas can look over you properly there."

Miranda was taken to the infirmary, and was surprised to find Jessica Shepard sitting there "What you in here for then?" Jessica was much nicer than her brother; they were complete opposites in personality, even though they were best friends. Miranda noticed that some of her blazing hair was clumped together, she'd been bleeding.

Jessica noticed the surprised look on Miranda's face and stated almost matter of factly "Ashley add Grunt add Garrus equals a fuck ton of concussive shots. So what about you?"

"Kaidan hit me with the fallout of his barrier, sent me into a wall."

Jessica laughed at this. "Kaidan actually hit someone? He's lovely and all, but he needs to lighten up a bit, although with what happened to him..." Jessica trailed of in thought.

"Honestly, I knew working here would see me more injuries than on an Alliance cruiser" sighed Dr Chackwas.

"Right both of you sit in there, Jessica, you'll need some medigel and both of you are going to need painkillers." Once Dr Chakwas had given them both painkillers, she'd ordered them to site there until after lunchtime, then and only then could they go back to lessons. The pair talked amicably, about fellow classmates, Jacob, Garrus, James and then talk turned to Jack.

"No-one's seen her since she ran out of here. I wonder where she's gone" Jessica sighed, she'd liked Jack, she made John feel welcome here and anybody who made her brother feel welcome, was alright in her books.

"She's scared, scared of what people will think of her. She feels like no one can help her, and that no one is going to be there for her when she falls, none to catch her." The words tumbled out of Miranda's mouth uncontrollably. Jessica just looked at her.

"Seems like you know what she's going through, want to talk about it?" Miranda didn't believe this. Did someone actually care what she goes through? She looked at Jessica, she wasn't lying. Jessica genuinely wanted to help her."

"My sister. She's living in care, with some foster family. They took her away from me. When my father was arrested they took her. I haven't seen her since. I've..I've asked to but they... they said..." Miranda couldn't hold it together anymore; she broke down in tears and sobbed into her hands. Jessica quickly put her arm around Miranda and just held her, unsure of what exactly to say. Once Miranda had calmed down she spoke again, softer, quieter, weaker "

"They said the trauma... she doesn't remember me, or my father. I suppose it's a good thing, forgetting him, but I've lost my entire family, everything I had because of him. That's why I helped her."

"What? Helped who? Your sister?"

"No, Jack. She was at her lowest without a friend. I saw myself in her. That's why I helped her out of the chair. I realised that everyone needs a helping hand back up when you fall."

"And who helped you, back onto your feet then?"

"Mr Harper, he got me a place at this school, helped find me someplace to live. I'm on school benefits. They pay for my food, electricity, and clothes. My father, the richest man in the whole town takes all of his blasted money with him!" Miranda pounded her fist into the wall beside her. She couldn't stop herself, over and over. If she hit this wall enough then perhaps the pain would leave her. Jessica gently took hold of Miranda's arms and held her.

"You're going to be ok. You've come this far." Miranda fell against Jessica, and the pair just sat there in silence, taking comfort in each other's presence. After some time Miranda sat up

straight.

"Thank you, no one's ever really heard me out before. They just think I'm a cheerleader who always gets what she wants."

"I never thought that." Jessica smiled at her softly.

"Besides, who cares what people think? My brother tells me we should "Not give a damn what people think, but also have them in our scopes" I'm never entirely sure what he means by that, I think he was drunk." Jessica looked bewildered for a second and then the pair burst into laughter. "He does worse when he's drunk. You should see him dance, utterly terrible!" The pair laughed so loudly that Dr Chakwas had to come and see to them. She said they could go to lunch and the pair left arm in arm, tears in their eyes as they shared stories on John Shepard. "One time, he got so drunk he tried to kiss Garrus!"

* * *

Credits: The Good Left Undone by Rise Against

In fields where nothing grew but weeds,

I found a

flower at my feet,

Bending there in my direction,

I wrapped a hand around its stem,

I pulled until the roots gave in,

Finding there what I'd been missing,

But I know...

So I tell myself, I tell myself it's wrong.

There's a point we pass from which we can't return.

I felt the cold rain of the coming storm.

All because of you,

I haven't slept in so long.

When I do I dream of drowning in the ocean,

Longing for the shore where I can lay my head down,

I'll follow your voice,

All you have to do is shout it out.


End file.
